Adventures in Paradise – a.k.a. Getting a VI Drivers License

 So I typically try to play by the rules. But I also am a terrible procrastinator, so this time I decided to break that chain of putting things off and take care of getting my Virgin Islands driver's license as soon as possible. The law says that you need to get it within 90 days of residency ( how was I to know that many people say they only live here part time if or when they are pulled over?) !

Trip one- inquire about what is needed to transfer license! I think I understand completely and got the lady behind the glass window to smile, so I am happy and now on a mission.

The first thing a local did tell me was don't surrender your Florida license before getting a duplicate because the states don't recognize the VI license as real, and if you go back to the mainland, you will have to start the process all over and take the driving test required of 16 year olds!! ( Cost is $25 in Florida to get the duplicate- just say you lost it and it can be done via the Internet!) Check!

I needed two forms of ID that include my physical address. This is more difficult than it sounds as we rent a house and all my bills are in the landlord's name. But I get a copy of my lease as well as my car insurance and think I got it. I am good to go without any procrastination!! (Hahaha!)

Visit 2 - the lovely (non smiling)woman told me I needed my leased notarized! Really isn't a lease that is a binding contractual agreement solid enough to say I live somewhere???

Visit 3- lease notarized - check! Go in and I forget the damn car insurance - I take full responsibility for this one, however while I am there the huffy, eye rolling woman behind the glass window tells me I need my eye exam and blood type as well, and need to do this at the clinic. I asked if I know my blood type do I have to get it verified.

" NO!"

Have a good day woman I will really dislike soon!!

Go to clinic- they say “where is your paperwork for the eye exam???” Are you flipping kidding me? – breathe  - Lamaze type deep breaths!!
 

Visit 4- with a smile on my face I go back to the BMV to get the paperwork for my vision test so I can go back to the clinic for my 2:45 scheduled appt, AND - what do I find out from a kind of semi-social woman behind the glass partition? You don't need a vision test when surrendering your stateside license, just when getting a new VI license. Cancel clinic visit and have a drink!! ( my smile is gone as I leave!)

 
Visit 5- I'm really ready this time - notarized lease in hand, car insurance with address in hand, passport in hand, social security  card in hand. This should be in and out in 10 Minutes tops. Yeah right – don’t you  think you should have told me that i needed to get a copy of my driving record for the past seven years?!! I am now going to go underwater and calm down with a snorkel or kill someone!

Visit 6- this time I'm good to go- seriously-  I have the drivers record from Florida and everything else the BMV needs !! EXCEPT… stupid idiotic state of Florida has two ways they send your records. One is to protect confidentiality and has your SSN but no name or address! Guess what ?- BMV won't accept this!! Breathe Leslie, breathe don't punch someone!!  How am I to know that when Florida says they are sending an authentic copy of your record that it doesn't necessarily include your name?!! My facial expression must have been so telling because the woman said "don't cry honey, you still have time to get it!" ( I wasn't near tears but I did want to kill someone!). She must feel sorry for me because she also gave me two forms which need to be filled out when surrendering a license.

 
Call to Florida - they say they will fix it, ask where I want it sent, and I tell them my Florida address as I am going  for a visit and know how long USPS can take to get it here on the islands! Of course this driver's record never arrives in Melbourne, or if it did, someone else is looking at my stats because , I'm  pretty sure it's floating around the state of Florida!! Call again to Florida after being told it could take  14 business days to arrive and I tell her it's been 18 days. Little Miss Sunshine State decides to send a duplicate but cannot understand why it has to be sent to be sent to me in the the Virgin Islands.

Visit 7-I have everything!! I have my notarized lease (still shaking my head), my vehicle insurance  card with physical address , my passport, my social security card, my driving record, and my Florida license to surrender! I am excited!! The day is here but alas no license this time!!! Why, you might ask, because I cannot get my picture taken for the license ....because my  shoulders aren't covered!

Now listen, I could understand if I came in with a bathing suit covered by a small little shirt !! But I have on a sleeveless shirt that has 2 1/2 inches of fabric on my shoulders , nothing low cut or what anyone would call provocative, but I can't get my license because I don't have sleeves!! I have seen what these folks wear for Carnival and they aren’t in the parade!! Utterly ridiculous, but as my friend Denise reminded me " they just won't give the license to me because I am a slut!"

Visit 8 - I have no expectations !  I walk in taking note that the gentleman who does the vehicle inspections is asleep with his feet on the desk and his head is nodding backwards and you can actually hear the whistle of his snore. I notice the sign that says NO eating NO drinking and of course 2 of the 3 women are sharing some very yummy looking food! Regardless,  I  greet the woman behind the glass partition with a friendly " good afternoon", tell her I would like to surrender my FL license and she has the nerve to say," do you have all the necessary attachments?"

I want to break through that plexiglass and rip her face off but instead I say, " I do believe so ma'am!"

Now she closely examines all the papers, and says it’s $55 - in all seven visits before, no one had mentioned the $55- thanks goodness I had enough cash to pay for it as they don't take credit cards!! She tells me to sit down and twenty minutes later a second woman comes out of  the door and says "are you ready from your picture?"

 I said ”by all means! “

This lady is very nice and tells me that I am the only person who gas made her chuckle all day ( at which point I want to say " do you think it’s you or them lady?)" ,but now I want to get out of there and she is holding me hostage,  and she has a private audience to talk about everything-her kids, the weather, her dying mom, her menopausal sister,  my job, where I live, and eventually -  getting my license!  Finally the picture is done and the license is secure in my hand.

Hooray!  It only took 83 days to get my license  but I am now legal! I really hope I don’t have to go into the BMV again for a long time as I might disturb the inspector's Siesta!